"Levi, how would you feel about a mini Eren Yeager?"

minimikasaackerman:

memosfromlevi:

"Mhh like vomiting, why?"

"Actually I think I’m the one most likely to vomit. Morning sickness and all."

"NO."

I'm cosplaying you in November any tips on shit jokes?

"Just relax, unclench, and let them flow."

"Levi, how would you feel about a mini Eren Yeager?"

"Mhh like vomiting, why?"

tigersaur:

kirayamapi:

No regrets for this one.

Do not repost the GIF


OmfgErwin tho

tigersaur:

kirayamapi:

No regrets for this one.

Do not repost the GIF

Omfg
Erwin tho

Anonymous said:
Jigglytata

I feel a million times better now.

Two months later, a file was passed to the Captain's desk, courtesy of Ymir, announcing of a maternity leave the blonde would be needing to take within six months. Whoops.

inlesbianswithistoria:

memosfromlevi:

"HOW DOES THIS EVEN HAPPEN??!!!???!!!"

"Look, I’d be willing to go into details, but I’m sure you don’t need to hear about that, sir." Ymir tried her hardest to keep a straight face as she stood in front of the very desk the caused this whole incident to happen.

image

"… We’re trying to think of how to incorporate ‘desk’ into the name."

"I’ve failed….i’ve failed humanity…they’re reproducing….”

Two months later, a file was passed to the Captain's desk, courtesy of Ymir, announcing of a maternity leave the blonde would be needing to take within six months. Whoops.

"HOW DOES THIS EVEN HAPPEN??!!!???!!!"

What Erwin should have sang when he deflowered Levi last week.

oh.

my god.

Ymir glanced back and forth from where she had Historia pinned on the Captain's desk and to the door where the short man now stood. Shit. Ymir watched what she could remember of her life flash before her eyes and tried to casually place Historia's jacket over the blonde to cover her up. What exactly was she supposed to say in this situation? "... Hey."

inlesbianswithistoria:

memosfromlevi:

Levi stood in the doorway, his trademark impassive stare etched on his face while he held on to a freshly brewed cup of black tea. He had had every intention of returning to his office to continue paperwork but…there seemed to be someone in the way. Two people, to be more specific. 

He allowed to the silence to hang in the air for several seconds, driving up the tension before speaking.

"Hn…that desk’s seen a lot of gay shit." 

Well, some being of higher power seemed to be taking mercy on her today. Ymir quickly zipped up her pants as Historia started to get dressed once more. For a moment there, she thought she was going to have to go clean the horse stables or some shit.

Lot’s of gay shit on this desk, huh? It’s not like Ymir had expected to be the first, but that certainly wasn’t information she needed confirmed. Clearing her throat, she scratched the back of her head.

"Uh, right." That’s right, hadn’t Bertholdt and Reiner come in here before? "Forgot the sweaty giant’s been in here, too." 

That’s probably not what he meant. Not like it mattered. If she was going to wind up in trouble, she may as well thrown another comrade or two under the cart.

"Well, I think we better get going, right, Historia? Aha…"

He did an admirable job maintaining his composure at Ymir’s mention of Bertholdt, only allowing his eyes to widen slightly - Ok, so it wasn’t exactly a stretch to imagine him and the buff blond guy he constantly hung around with as being an item, but apparently his own office had become a landmark for couples looking for a little excitement. Suddenly he was imagining the myriad of germs and other unsavory things clinging to it’s surface…when was the last time he’d cleaned it? Had he had his door locked since then? Calculations on days since versus the concentration of the bleach he used swam through his head along with a low chant of oh god, oh god, oh god….in the background.

At least his comment had mostly flown over her head; Erwin would probably have been furious at presenting such an unprofessional image to young cadets, even if said cadets were engaged in the same sort of behavior already.

As the two girls attempted a retreat, Levi moved past them towards his desk, mind already whirring over what kind of cleaner to use. 

"Yes, you’ll want to run along…You’ve got three hours of gear cleaning and maintenance to see to. I’ll send a message to Gunther and let him know you’ll be joining him and his group," the captain announced, lifting his cup to his lips with the barest trace of a smug smile.

Anonymous said:
◎ When do you intend to have sex with Eren

minimikasaackerman:

memosfromlevi:

minimikasaackerman:

"I’m not having sex with him until he can keep his ass from being kidnapped."

"So basically "never" is what you’re saying…"

image

"I wouldn’t say never. But the odds aren’t in his favor.

"And what brought on your sudden interest in who I shack up with?"

"I don’t particularly care, I just enjoy not having to witness all of you reproduce and other equally disgusting/terrifying things."

Ymir glanced back and forth from where she had Historia pinned on the Captain's desk and to the door where the short man now stood. Shit. Ymir watched what she could remember of her life flash before her eyes and tried to casually place Historia's jacket over the blonde to cover her up. What exactly was she supposed to say in this situation? "... Hey."

Levi stood in the doorway, his trademark impassive stare etched on his face while he held on to a freshly brewed cup of black tea. He had had every intention of returning to his office to continue paperwork but…there seemed to be someone in the way. Two people, to be more specific. 

He allowed to the silence to hang in the air for several seconds, driving up the tension before speaking.

"Hn…that desk’s seen a lot of gay shit." 

Anonymous said:
◎ When do you intend to have sex with Eren

minimikasaackerman:

"I’m not having sex with him until he can keep his ass from being kidnapped."

"So basically "never" is what you’re saying…"